Just think. In 2 years 2 hours and 25 minutes the biggest mistake every foisted on the American Constitution will no longer be a resident of the White House.
Just two very long years from today the most stupid son of a bitch ever to accomplish the mission of landing on the deck of an aircraft carrier moored 500 meters off the shore of San Diego will step down. The moment the first President since Bill Clinton is sworn in, I hope security forces of the United Nations grab Bush and Cheney, slap the shit out of them, put them in handcuffs and leg irons and squirrel them away to the Hague Netherlands where they can begin their trials for crimes against humanity. I hope that justice is served quickly, mercilessly and painfully, just like how Bush has meted out "justice" to detainee's at Guantanamo Bay.
In resident Bush's place I hope we see Al Gore standing tall, raising his right hand and swearing to actually uphold the Constitution instead of calling it, as Bush did "just a god damned piece of paper." Standing next to Al will be Vice President Wesley Clark, whose first job will be to fly to Iraqnam and negotiate a peaceful settlement to the debacle that Bush and Cheney created to steal more oil.
Leaving the steps of the Capitol to begin the traditional journey to the White House, President Gore wont have to worry about not getting out of the car to walk. People like me will not be standing along the verge of Constitution Avenue throwing eggs like we did on January 20, 2001 when the moron was inaugurated illegally. President Al will hold his head high and listen to the thunderous applause of hundreds of thousands of us, all breathing a sigh of relief that the eight long years of horror are over.
That evening at the Inaugural Ball, Al will have invited the two most important singers in the world to entertain the crowd. Jimmy Buffett will take the stage first where he'll dedicate his first song, the Stones classic "You Cant Always Get What You Want" to the newly departed former resident of the White House. After a few classic Buffett songs (Fins, Margaritaville, Floridays, Migration, Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw), Al will turn the microphone over to the musical group that had the most influence in waking up this country to the excesses of the bush administration. Yup, the Dixie Chicks will take the stage and the crowd will go wild. Their first song will be an adaptation of their 2000 classic "Goodbye Earl" only the word "Earl" will have been replaced by "George." I can already imagine the smile on Natalie's face when she asks George how he likes to be thrown in the trunk.
When Goodbye George is over, the Chicks will play a variation of their song "Not Ready to Make Nice" that will now contain the phrase "Now, I'm ready to make nice" This will bring a smile to President Gore's face as he pats Tipper on the butt and slams down another pint of Land Shark Lager donated to the party by Jimmy Buffett's brewery.
The party will go on all night. Copious amounts of Land Shark Lager will be consumed. Common people like you and me will be welcome. We wont have to sign a loyalty pledge to get near our President like the Repugnicans have to do when their resident is in town. Social Justice will be the norm. The earth wont be under attack any longer (well until the next Repugnican is sitting in the White House). We'll have universal health care. Prescription drugs wont cost us an arm and a leg. Al Franken will be Secretary of State where he'll do wonders making the world laugh and realizing that the United States is no longer the world's bully. Rachel Maddow will be packing her bags to move into her new position as US Ambassador to the United Nations. Ed Schultz, the self-admitted "Meat-eating, gun-toting liberal" radio show host from Fargo will be taking over as Secretary of the Interior. Other smart choices for Cabinet positions will be made and the world once again, will be at peace. Just like it was when Bill was President.
And it all begins just two long years from today.
Craig Faanes
www.inyourfaceradio.net
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Dear Resident Bush
January 17, 2007
George Bush, resident
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington DC 20500
Dear resident Bush
I can imagine with the entire world hating you because of your bungled failure in Iraqnam you must find it difficult to get in a chuckle or two each day. After your disastrous showings on the PBS News Hour and on 60 Minutes even Barney is lifting his Scottish leg and pissing on your foot. Its got to be tough being the decider, huh, Dumbya?
Well, moron, I’m providing you with a little pick-me-up in the form of the enclosed bumper sticker. There are some big words on here, including one tri-syllabic word called “Impeachment” so you will probably need help from Laura to understand its meaning. Maybe if you read it really slowly you might understand what it says? Lets try. K? The bumper sticker says "Impeachment - Its Not Just For Blow jobs Anymore.” That’s referring to you, Dumbya. Lying to the world about non-existent weapons of mass destruction in Iraqnam is more of a Constitutionally-proscribed “high crimes and misdemeanor” than is a sloppy blow job under the oval office desk.
I would love it if you would have one of your GS-15 flunkies put this bumper sticker on the back of your black limo so you can spread the word about your upcoming impeachment, trial, and removal from office just like I am doing with the same bumper sticker on my car. In case you like this bumper sticker as much as I do, you can have Laura, or Barney, go to this web site to order more:
http://www.cafepress.com/designedforyou.42760658
Maybe being the down home beer drinking kind of guy you are, Dumbya, you might want to pass these bumper stickers out to visitors on the daily White House tours? Or how about giving them to your cabinet members? Too bad Bucky Norton isn’t still around so you could watch her gnaw on one for you. You might also want to consider putting one of these bumper stickers next to the door of Helicopter 1 and Air Force 1 so each time you slither out of town you are reminded about your high crimes and your impending trail in the Senate. Are you having Tony Snow or someone work on your resignation speech yet? I’ll re send the one I wrote for you in June 2001 if you promise to use it before your trial. It’s the ‘Merikun thing to do, isn’t it, decider guy?
And, Dumbya, what do you think of the stamp I used to mail this letter and bumper sticker? Two birds obviously kissing each other. Word from the Postal Service is that they birds are gay. I thought you would appreciate that extra touch.
Craig Faanes
www.inyourfaceradio.net
George Bush, resident
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington DC 20500
Dear resident Bush
I can imagine with the entire world hating you because of your bungled failure in Iraqnam you must find it difficult to get in a chuckle or two each day. After your disastrous showings on the PBS News Hour and on 60 Minutes even Barney is lifting his Scottish leg and pissing on your foot. Its got to be tough being the decider, huh, Dumbya?
Well, moron, I’m providing you with a little pick-me-up in the form of the enclosed bumper sticker. There are some big words on here, including one tri-syllabic word called “Impeachment” so you will probably need help from Laura to understand its meaning. Maybe if you read it really slowly you might understand what it says? Lets try. K? The bumper sticker says "Impeachment - Its Not Just For Blow jobs Anymore.” That’s referring to you, Dumbya. Lying to the world about non-existent weapons of mass destruction in Iraqnam is more of a Constitutionally-proscribed “high crimes and misdemeanor” than is a sloppy blow job under the oval office desk.
I would love it if you would have one of your GS-15 flunkies put this bumper sticker on the back of your black limo so you can spread the word about your upcoming impeachment, trial, and removal from office just like I am doing with the same bumper sticker on my car. In case you like this bumper sticker as much as I do, you can have Laura, or Barney, go to this web site to order more:
http://www.cafepress.com/designedforyou.42760658
Maybe being the down home beer drinking kind of guy you are, Dumbya, you might want to pass these bumper stickers out to visitors on the daily White House tours? Or how about giving them to your cabinet members? Too bad Bucky Norton isn’t still around so you could watch her gnaw on one for you. You might also want to consider putting one of these bumper stickers next to the door of Helicopter 1 and Air Force 1 so each time you slither out of town you are reminded about your high crimes and your impending trail in the Senate. Are you having Tony Snow or someone work on your resignation speech yet? I’ll re send the one I wrote for you in June 2001 if you promise to use it before your trial. It’s the ‘Merikun thing to do, isn’t it, decider guy?
And, Dumbya, what do you think of the stamp I used to mail this letter and bumper sticker? Two birds obviously kissing each other. Word from the Postal Service is that they birds are gay. I thought you would appreciate that extra touch.
Craig Faanes
www.inyourfaceradio.net
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Dear Dumbya
Dear Dumbya,
Have you seen the cover of the new Esquire magazine?? You've probably been too busy getting an abortion arranged for Jenna to have notices so I'll send you the link
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x2979013
Pretty cool, huh, numb-nuts? Some poor kid who is legless and has only one functioning arm - all because of you, Deadeye Dick, William Kristol and the rest of you heartless fucking bastards.
http://www.inyourfaceradio.net/
In a perfect world this picture would be of you, your Abomination members, Ann Coulter, William Kristol and all the war mongers at Faux "News". All photographed with no legs and only one arm. All blown off in Iraqnam.
Ann Coulter once said that Max Clelland, the former Senator from Georgia who lost three limbs in Vietnam did so to gain pity for political reasons. Will that vile cunt say the same thing about this kid?
YOU are the mother fucker who caused this Bush. You. Not Bill Clinton. Not your dad. Nobody but you. And this kid is just one of thousands out there who have been maimed and irreparably harmed for your lies.
I hope when the time comes you burn in hell for what you have done. After the War Crimes trial in the Hague, that is.
Craig Faanes
www.inyourfaceradio.net
Have you seen the cover of the new Esquire magazine?? You've probably been too busy getting an abortion arranged for Jenna to have notices so I'll send you the link
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x2979013
Pretty cool, huh, numb-nuts? Some poor kid who is legless and has only one functioning arm - all because of you, Deadeye Dick, William Kristol and the rest of you heartless fucking bastards.
http://www.inyourfaceradio.net/
In a perfect world this picture would be of you, your Abomination members, Ann Coulter, William Kristol and all the war mongers at Faux "News". All photographed with no legs and only one arm. All blown off in Iraqnam.
Ann Coulter once said that Max Clelland, the former Senator from Georgia who lost three limbs in Vietnam did so to gain pity for political reasons. Will that vile cunt say the same thing about this kid?
YOU are the mother fucker who caused this Bush. You. Not Bill Clinton. Not your dad. Nobody but you. And this kid is just one of thousands out there who have been maimed and irreparably harmed for your lies.
I hope when the time comes you burn in hell for what you have done. After the War Crimes trial in the Hague, that is.
Craig Faanes
www.inyourfaceradio.net
Thursday, December 14, 2006
"In Your Face Radio, What's That?
To: IYFR
I had my first interaction with someone about my In Your Face Radio.net sweatshirt while riding the subway home after leaving the dentist
I had positioned myself by the middle door and as we rode along I sort of swung 90 degrees in each direction hoping someone would read the front of the sweat. Finally someone did.
Moron was holding a Washington Times so I knew where his mind was.
I saw him sort of stretching his neck to be able to read all the stuff on my front so I obliged and turned to him then spread my arms out Jesus-style so there was no way he could not read the shirt.
He started the conversation "In Your Face Radio. Whats that?"
"It is what the name says. In your face. They dont take bullshit from Repugnicans."
"What kind of people do they have on there," he asked?
"Liberals. Fiscally conservative, anti-war liberals. The kind of people who care more about your ability to access health care than they worry about the profits of Exxon. People who dont care if you fuck a sheep as long as it doesn't affect others."
This seemed to piss him off and he asked, "so are you some sort of wise guy?"
I said "Nope, just a normal American citizen who is fed up with you right wingers."
By now we are pulling up to the East Falls Church metro station and he tried to get one last dig in. I cut him short.
He said "It doesn't sound like the kind of radio station I'd like."
I said "Probably not. We don't let people who call dark skinned people "Macaca" or who think George Bush has a brain on the station."
The train stopped. He was thinking of a reply and just snorted.
As the door opened and I was stepping off the train I said "Fuck you very much, sir"
And then I left.
He probably wont be tuning in any time soon OR will he be buying one of your sweat shirts, Jaye....but at least someone else in DC now knows about In Your Face Radio.
Craig Faanes
I had my first interaction with someone about my In Your Face Radio.net sweatshirt while riding the subway home after leaving the dentist
I had positioned myself by the middle door and as we rode along I sort of swung 90 degrees in each direction hoping someone would read the front of the sweat. Finally someone did.
Moron was holding a Washington Times so I knew where his mind was.
I saw him sort of stretching his neck to be able to read all the stuff on my front so I obliged and turned to him then spread my arms out Jesus-style so there was no way he could not read the shirt.
He started the conversation "In Your Face Radio. Whats that?"
"It is what the name says. In your face. They dont take bullshit from Repugnicans."
"What kind of people do they have on there," he asked?
"Liberals. Fiscally conservative, anti-war liberals. The kind of people who care more about your ability to access health care than they worry about the profits of Exxon. People who dont care if you fuck a sheep as long as it doesn't affect others."
This seemed to piss him off and he asked, "so are you some sort of wise guy?"
I said "Nope, just a normal American citizen who is fed up with you right wingers."
By now we are pulling up to the East Falls Church metro station and he tried to get one last dig in. I cut him short.
He said "It doesn't sound like the kind of radio station I'd like."
I said "Probably not. We don't let people who call dark skinned people "Macaca" or who think George Bush has a brain on the station."
The train stopped. He was thinking of a reply and just snorted.
As the door opened and I was stepping off the train I said "Fuck you very much, sir"
And then I left.
He probably wont be tuning in any time soon OR will he be buying one of your sweat shirts, Jaye....but at least someone else in DC now knows about In Your Face Radio.
Craig Faanes
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Category: Security Threats – To Michael Chertoff
Name: Ben Dover
E-mail: bushisafukingmoron@yahoo.com
Category: Security Threats – To Michael Chertoff
Dear Mike...
This story from the BBC http://www.bbc.co.uk/caribbean/news/story/2006/11/061123_ustravel.shtml contained an interesting quote by you to the effect that "terrorists" using false documents could enter the United States and commit some heinous act.
Did it ever occur to you, Mike, that the last time someone entered the United States and committed a heinous act (9/11) it was after they had received a valid visa from INS?? And to top it off, you dip-shits issued visa extensions for at least four of the hijackers six MONTHS after they died in the 9/11 attacks.
I think, Mike, you need to keep this line of bullshit reserved only for comments you make to listeners at Faux "News". The rest of us are educated and can remember things beyond yesterday. That, or just keep making an ass of yourself. Each time a Repugnican does that it makes it so much nicer for us come the next election day.
Love and kisses,
Ben
E-mail: bushisafukingmoron@yahoo.com
Category: Security Threats – To Michael Chertoff
Dear Mike...
This story from the BBC http://www.bbc.co.uk/caribbean/news/story/2006/11/061123_ustravel.shtml contained an interesting quote by you to the effect that "terrorists" using false documents could enter the United States and commit some heinous act.
Did it ever occur to you, Mike, that the last time someone entered the United States and committed a heinous act (9/11) it was after they had received a valid visa from INS?? And to top it off, you dip-shits issued visa extensions for at least four of the hijackers six MONTHS after they died in the 9/11 attacks.
I think, Mike, you need to keep this line of bullshit reserved only for comments you make to listeners at Faux "News". The rest of us are educated and can remember things beyond yesterday. That, or just keep making an ass of yourself. Each time a Repugnican does that it makes it so much nicer for us come the next election day.
Love and kisses,
Ben
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Dear Senator Warner,
As this article in the New York Times suggests, its time once again to thank you for being courageous and putting the will of the people ahead of partisan politics.
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/07/world/middleeast/07capital.html?hp&ex=1160193600&en=fe3e1bb831881928&ei=5094&partner=homepage
I don’t always agree with you because your political philosophy and mine are 180 degrees different. That is why, when you have the guts to come out and say what needs to be said for the sake of the Nation and not the sake of your party, you need to be commended.
I sincerely wish we could pack up and be out of the quagmire of Iraq tomorrow. I realize that wont happen. I sincerely hope, also, that the Democrats are in charge of the House and the Senate when the new session begins on January 3, 2007. Assuming that is the case, perhaps you will be the shining star on your side of the aisle pushing for a bipartisan solution to the mess that the Bush Administration has thrown us into in Iraq.
Again, thanks for having the guts to tell the truth. We the people whom you represent appreciate your slowly turning outlook.
Craig Faanes
www.inyourfaceradio.net
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/07/world/middleeast/07capital.html?hp&ex=1160193600&en=fe3e1bb831881928&ei=5094&partner=homepage
I don’t always agree with you because your political philosophy and mine are 180 degrees different. That is why, when you have the guts to come out and say what needs to be said for the sake of the Nation and not the sake of your party, you need to be commended.
I sincerely wish we could pack up and be out of the quagmire of Iraq tomorrow. I realize that wont happen. I sincerely hope, also, that the Democrats are in charge of the House and the Senate when the new session begins on January 3, 2007. Assuming that is the case, perhaps you will be the shining star on your side of the aisle pushing for a bipartisan solution to the mess that the Bush Administration has thrown us into in Iraq.
Again, thanks for having the guts to tell the truth. We the people whom you represent appreciate your slowly turning outlook.
Craig Faanes
www.inyourfaceradio.net
Dear FORMER Senator Macaca,
Dear FORMER Senator Macaca,
Well Felix, I've been waiting forever to email you and say Goodbye MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!! You're out of the Senate you wretched son of a bitch. The only bigger asshole who deserves to be defeated was Rick Sanctimoron and he went down for the count also.
As you so famously said last summer in southwest Virginia when you saw the kid with brown skin, Virginians said to you tonight " Welcome to the United States and welcome to the real world of Virginia". That's what we said today at the polls (or as I said on October 18 when I cast my absentee ballot.)
So, dipshit are you planning to move back home to California? Maybe join a monastery and be a bigger fake Christian? Maybe you'll catch some disease that will now be curable with Democrats in control and able to pass stem cell research.
So many great things now can happen Macaca since you and your Repignican thugs are in the MINORITY....and most importantly you're out on the street.
I'm checking in from Saigon, Vietnam right now FORMER Senator. Its 3:30 pm Wednesday here or 3:30 this morning in Virginia. People here are dancing in the streets because they now know the tyranny of you and your party is out the window.
As I said earlier with so much gusto....Adios Motherfucker!!! Let me know if you need help packing up your office I'll be glad to help get you removed from the Senate Office building.
Love and kisses,
Craig Faanes
www.inyourfaceradio.net
On The Air - Weds 6-8pm PST
Well Felix, I've been waiting forever to email you and say Goodbye MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!! You're out of the Senate you wretched son of a bitch. The only bigger asshole who deserves to be defeated was Rick Sanctimoron and he went down for the count also.
As you so famously said last summer in southwest Virginia when you saw the kid with brown skin, Virginians said to you tonight " Welcome to the United States and welcome to the real world of Virginia". That's what we said today at the polls (or as I said on October 18 when I cast my absentee ballot.)
So, dipshit are you planning to move back home to California? Maybe join a monastery and be a bigger fake Christian? Maybe you'll catch some disease that will now be curable with Democrats in control and able to pass stem cell research.
So many great things now can happen Macaca since you and your Repignican thugs are in the MINORITY....and most importantly you're out on the street.
I'm checking in from Saigon, Vietnam right now FORMER Senator. Its 3:30 pm Wednesday here or 3:30 this morning in Virginia. People here are dancing in the streets because they now know the tyranny of you and your party is out the window.
As I said earlier with so much gusto....Adios Motherfucker!!! Let me know if you need help packing up your office I'll be glad to help get you removed from the Senate Office building.
Love and kisses,
Craig Faanes
www.inyourfaceradio.net
On The Air - Weds 6-8pm PST
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